Christmas Newsletter 2008

Another Year Has Passed

It's hard to believe that another year has already passed. It seems like just yesterday that we were sitting down to write last years blog. As 2008 rolled in we were optomistic that it would be the best year ever...Jeff and I would be celebrating out 5th wedding anniversary, we both still had jobs and everyone seemed to be doing well. Well...it wasn't quite the year we thought it would be. But glad to say, we still have jobs.

As last year was ending Melissa's brother was in the midst of a divorce from his last wife but we were all happy that he had came back to South Bend. Since then he has met a special woman with a 10 year old daughter. Lora, Melissa's brother's new girlfriend, connects with her brother on a level that no other relationship has...an intellectual level. For once it seems like he has finally met the person he is supposed to spend the rest of his life with. She's great. She likes the Cubs and Notre Dame, graduated from an IU school, and feels that her faith life is important. Its also great to see Marty so happy. And we look forward to having Lora as a new sister-in-law sometime in the future...its inevitable!

After the tree was down...

A few days after Christmas (on December 28th to be exact) we had to put our dog Sadie down. Sadie, who had been Melissa's Grandma's dog, came to live with us in late spring 2007. By fall we realized that the tumors on her belly were growing and by October she had become incontinant. We made the decision that rather than let her suffer that it was best to put her down. Her eyesite had gotten so bad that she couldn't see and began running into things. It was the hardest thing Melissa has ever had to do because she was so attached to Sadie. She not only taught us things though...she taught our other dog, Faith, how to get along with another dog. When we had adopted Faith in 2004 they said she'd have to be the only dog because she didn't get along with other dogs. Well, in February 2008, for Valentine's Day, Melissa got a new dog. Rockne, another Boston Terrier, has joined our family and Faith has accepted him as her own little brother.

We also began volunteering with a Boston Terrier Rescue Group. Midwest Boston Terrier Rescue group is a no-kill rescue group located in Indiana, Michigan, Illinois, and Ohio. We assist with transports of some of the dogs and volunteer at events. Nothing is greater than the unconditional love of a dog. Our dogs are our children as we continue to deal with infertility. We keep hoping and praying to get pregnant but still no luck. Melissa's doctor has even stopped asking if we'd like to try something else in the realm of fertility treatments.

5 Years...we made it!

May 24th we celebrated our 5th Wedding Anniversary. As part of our celebration we saved money to go to Jeff's cousin's wedding in San Diego, CA. We were eager to go as we had only last been to California when we were in Lake Tahoe on our Honeymoon. Plus, to celebrate his cousins wedding made it even more fun to see some of the cousins again. It seems as though the only times we see each other anymore is at funerals and weddings. It was a great wedding done U.S. Marine style and while we were there we got to do some sight seeing. We arrived in San Diego on May 18th and left on Sunday May 25th. While there we stayed at the Lawrence Welk Resort with Jeff's parents. It was a beautiful resort and we had nice hot weather for the first couple of days only to be followed with rain and cold weather every day after. This is California! It shouldn't be cold and rainy! Funnier yet, while visiting a friend of Jeff's parents who lives in nearby, it started to hail and there was a tornado spotted about 30 minutes from where we were at. A tornado! In California!

We visited the Sea Lions in La Jolla on our last day. If you ever have the chance you have to go see it. Not only is it awesome to see he sea lions but the area is beautiful. On the day of our anniversary we attended Matthew and Maria's wedding on the base at Camp Pendleton. After assisting our table with finishing off 10 bottles of champaign we decided to relive the cake sharing incident from our wedding and ended up smashing it on each other like we did on our wedding night. We loved San Diego and California and hope to someday return.

Back to the Convent....

Earlier this year Melissa received a letter stating that there was going to be a former Sister's reunion. Melissa was a bit nervous about going. It had been 10 years since she left the convent and many of the women attending were older than her and had left in the 1970's and 1980's. Finally, she agreed to attend as long as Jeff was going to be there too. It turned out to be a great weekend. Melissa was able to reconnect with some of the former sisters that left within the year or two before she had and also to make some new friends. The most touching part of the weekend was a prayer service remembering the Sisters who had passed on. From the ceremony in the Catherine Kasper Living Center Chapel everyone processed to the cemetary and placed lit tea lights on the headstones of the Sisters they wanted to rememer. Later that evening when it was dark and everyone was leaving the Kasper Living Center after entertainment, looking at the cemetary was touching as what seemed like hundreds of lights were flickering in the dark. It was amazing. Melissa is grateful for her time as a part of the Poor Handmaids and for the time for healing that occured in August at the reunion.

Not a healthy year...

Again Melissa, Jeff and her siblings walked in the Sunburst 5k here in South Bend. Unfortunately her dad was unable to do the walk with them this year as his health declined a little in the last year. You may recall from last years letter that we, along with her siblings, walked the Sunburst 5k with her dad in 2007 to celebrate his recovery from his stroke. This past February and March he had 4 episodes of passing out, including one time where he was rushed to the hospital and where initially they told us his blood work came up showing that he had had a heart attack. Turned out to be a lab error and he was released the next morning. But, regardless he doesn't have the energy he used to. He watched as we crossed the finish line for him and we even had recruited a couple people that were walking behind us to push us when we wanted to give up, which was needed. Turns out Melissa tore a tendon in her foot near her ankle during the walk. This fall she began therapy and wears braces to also start stretching out the achillis which are tight and slightly torn. Turns out she has a bone chip on both heals that nearly tore the achillis.

Melissa also started having headaches daily during the summer and out of concern she made an appointment with the doctor. By the time she saw the doctor in August she'd had the headaches daily for almost 12 weeks. Concerned that she had the same genetic problem with a thin blood vessel in the brain as her dad, the doctor ordered a CT scan. A week after the test was done we found out the culprit of the headaches...black mold! As we were preparing for out of town guests and recalking the tile in the shower, several tiles fell off to reveal black mold on the drywall. Turns out that when the pipes were fixed in the shower last year the plumber sweated the pipes which caused moisture on another area of the tub and the caulking would not stick when it was done. As a result, everytime a shower was taken water got in the wall. We hadn't been planning on redoing the bathroom at this time. We ended up replacing all the tile with a tub surround that afixes right to the studs. It looks much better and the headaches have gone away.

As we write this, both of us are down with a horrible cold. It has hit Melissa's parents and siblings all within the last month and now has hit us. Jeff has had it for 3 1/2 weeks now and is on an antibiotic. Melissa is going the organic route and attempting herbal supliments and teas. We hope to be healthy by Christmas.

Our Christmas Wish

With the economy problems as they are, everyone is hurting financially and barely making ends meet. We completely understand that. Recently we became aware of a story of a local family whose children are being poisoned by lead paint. The Grandmother is bedridden and the little kid's mothers can't find work. They can't afford to fix the problem with the paint and with the economy they can't get loans or find work. The health department is able to get a grant to help them fix it but the family has to come up with $1800 first because of the grant requirements. We didn't have alot of money but we could at least try and figure out resources to help them find food to get through Thanksgiving. When the story of this family hit the local news, hate and negative comments abounded online. We were astonished how people could be so negative. People made comments about the family needing to find a job and pay their own way and even commented negatively about the young mothers being bad mothers because their children had been exposed to the paint.

Our wish this Christmas is for compassion. It's so easy to judge others when we are struggling in this economy...when some people don't know if they themselves can pay their bills. If our world could become more compassionate and help each other out, we'd be able to survive these trying times. Even thought we couldn't afford to help this family financially, they were so grateful for the food we were able to get donated to them. This Christmas, pass it forward. One kind act can cause a tsunami of love.

Peace to all. --Melissa and Jeff